i was rollin on her like bob the builder
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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