so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
me + whiskey = a bad person
FUCK WHALES
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
