My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
