i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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