also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
