Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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