me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize