Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
