Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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