Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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