you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
