I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
