We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we made out on top of his cat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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