You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
