I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
