I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize