you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You are the jesus of drinking
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize