Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
