If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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