So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
