i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Randomize
