i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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