Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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