One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
