I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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