you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
