i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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