She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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