So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
