Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
