You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
