Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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