You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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