she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
third nipple confirmed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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