Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
