How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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