I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
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I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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