She's JV to your varsity
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
