Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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