Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
