There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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