Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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