I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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