We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
