so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
