How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
