we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize