Pants 0. Shit 1.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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