Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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