Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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