JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Farmville is her only friend.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
