I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
