Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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