I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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