i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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