do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize