I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
