My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
