I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
