he wants to bone in the snuggie
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
