Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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