I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
