theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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